Because J's alarm clock blared this morning I have been awake since 7 a.m. - not normal. Thusly if this post is confusing or poorly written you will have to forgive me because let's face it: it's not my fault.
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It's an exciting day, the day we start a new tube of toothpaste. Much discussion goes into it. Which brand to choose?! Which flavor to try?! Because we are addicted to free stuff at Rite Aid we have about five big tubes and seven little tubes in our cabinet at all times...so every new tube is an adventure.
Our old tube all squeezed out, we gaze into the cupboard and select...dun dun dun!...
Aquafresh Extreme Clean Empowermint (plus whitening!)!
It beat out two Colgates and a Crest and as we ready our toothbrushes we take off the cap to discover with shock and (for me) dismay that the paste is ORANGE. Not a light orange, not a pretty orange...a dark, offensive orange with a white stripe running through it. Orange is not a color that I associate with mint, fresh breath, or cleanliness. I bravely put it on those cleaning bristles, however, and stuck it into my mouth.
In spite of its unappetizing color it is minty...the kind that clears your sinuses (not in a shocking, painful manner, but in a gradual way as you continue to brush). This paste could almost be said to suds, and since I have a small mouth this means that I drooled a lot, much to J's alternate amusement and disgust. As I continued brushing I felt that it was a type of mint that I'd tasted before...from where, though?
It hit me this morning as I brushed again: Bengay. It's like brushing your teeth with a mild Bengay.
Guh-ROSS, Aquafresh...what were you thinking?! Unfortunately it's a full-sized tube of weirdly colored grossness, but I feel safe in saying that I will never buy it again (of course it was free in the first place so now I wonder...would I accept it for free again? I'd like to say "no" on principle, but I really really like free stuff so it's hard to figure out). I cannot fairly grade this toothpaste above an F.
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2 comments:
um...Gah-ROSS!!!!!
Maybe you should complain to Aquafresh. Who knows, they might even send you a free CASE of the stuff!
Yeah, but it's ORANGE! Around here that means a lot! Too bad it didn't come with a purple stripe. Now that would sell in this town!
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