itchy lips of doom

My lips itch. So bad. It's not my fault, I just woke up the other day and BAM! itchy. Overnight my lips went from normal human lips, to scaly, peely, itchy lips of doom. They are bright red and I want to scratch them. I want to scratch my huge lips. Boy do they feel big. The mirror says they are normal size but they feel like large puffy Angelina Jolie lips. I have used almost an entire tube of Blistex in 3 days. J and I went shopping for more chapstick today. I have three more tubes ready to use, because, to use my favorite Napoleon Dynamite quote:

My lips hurt real bad.