screaming wind of doom

An unholy screeching woke me up in the wee hours this morning...I thought some neighbor was freaking out, but it turned out to be some wildly gusting wind.

I have never heard wind make such a horrible noise, but it was howling around the edges of our building rattling our windows and flinging stuff off our neighbor's balcony. From the racket going on I thought I'd look out the window to see bicycles and small pets swirling through the air, but all there was to take in was the wind whipping the trees, rain flying everywhere, and a glowey weirdness of lightning off in the distance.

It's since calmed down - no longer the up-to-75-mph winds the morning news is telling me about, but still enough to moan around the edges of our apartment and far too much for anyone to go out driving in. I'm so grateful to still have our power on - I swear the news lady just said there are 50,000 people without it right now but that sounds way too high...it's probably like 5,000, but I enjoy the dramatic so I'll leave it in there. ;-) We also survived without a tree hitting our building and our cars are safe - which is more than so many people out there.

The yard is a mess, though. The wind ripped up a bunch of shingles that are strewn around and there's a stray watering can or two in unusual places. I would like to note that the kite that's been stuck in a tree across the way for months now is still there, however.

Apparently when you get a 68 degree day in January the weather freaks out and retaliates...crazy weather, what will it think of next?

the great escape

Sometimes at night Mutton Chop (the hamster of joy and affection) tips her wheel into the side of her glass cage and continues to run, making an unholy racket and waking J (not me, I find that I sleep through almost all of the things that get J up at night). Therefore he has been known to take her wheel out in the middle of the night so he can sleep.

Last night he did this. Took the wheel out, put the lid back on the cage, put the heavy book on top of the lid to keep her securely inside, and went back to bed. Upon waking this morning it appears that Mutton was actually still in the wheel when he took it out last night, though, and while J thought she was safely in her cage she went wild and ran all over the apartment. Yay! The moment she has been waiting for all her life had finally arrived!

I woke up to hear J running frantically around the apartment - when I came into the living room he was crouched on the floor looking under the couch for...something. Then the fateful words:

"Mutton escaped."

DUN DUN DUN! The search was on. It's so infuriating to look for a hamster because they make these little scurrying noises that sound like they are coming from anywhere but their actual point of origin. After a few minutes everything we could lift was piled in the middle of the floor and we still hadn't found her.

Hamsters do not come when you call their names. They work harder to hide. They are tricky and fast and very...small.

J began ripping cushions off the couch and doh! there she was, scurrying about in the disgusting amount of crumbs and lint that hitherto I'd been much to lazy to vacuum up.

She was freaking out.

Her hair was all matted and gross looking, her eyes were crazed. The ultimate sign of fear in a hamster is when they poof up their cheeks, lay their ears forward and put one paw out menacingly (I assume it's menacing to something smaller than a hamster, but it made me laugh and run for the camera). Alas she'd begun to run quickly from one end of the couch to the next by the time I could take a picture and that's when I realized that I probably wasn't calming her down any by flashing bright lights in her little beady eyeballs. She did other terrified hamstery things like shaking and jumping at the smallest noise. It was so sad! We talked soothingly and lay some seeds and pieces of banana out for her to get so she'd feel better. She shoved everything in her cheek pouches and tried to burrow into the couch. That didn't work at ALL, but it did draw to our attention that mystery strappy thing at the back of the couch...she'd chewed it up.

After a while we picked her up and gave her lovies, but she was spazzing so into her cage she went and oh! the reunion she had with her shavings and hamster castle and most particularly, her water bowl. (Mutton recently chewed huge holes in her water bottle, destroying it, so we've switched to the bowl method...a much messier, wetter choice so far)

Thus ended the excitement of the morning; our poor little baby is safe once again.

waking up early/orange toothpaste

Because J's alarm clock blared this morning I have been awake since 7 a.m. - not normal. Thusly if this post is confusing or poorly written you will have to forgive me because let's face it: it's not my fault.

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It's an exciting day, the day we start a new tube of toothpaste. Much discussion goes into it. Which brand to choose?! Which flavor to try?! Because we are addicted to free stuff at Rite Aid we have about five big tubes and seven little tubes in our cabinet at all times...so every new tube is an adventure.

Our old tube all squeezed out, we gaze into the cupboard and select...dun dun dun!...

Aquafresh Extreme Clean Empowermint (plus whitening!)!

It beat out two Colgates and a Crest and as we ready our toothbrushes we take off the cap to discover with shock and (for me) dismay that the paste is ORANGE. Not a light orange, not a pretty orange...a dark, offensive orange with a white stripe running through it. Orange is not a color that I associate with mint, fresh breath, or cleanliness. I bravely put it on those cleaning bristles, however, and stuck it into my mouth.

In spite of its unappetizing color it is minty...the kind that clears your sinuses (not in a shocking, painful manner, but in a gradual way as you continue to brush). This paste could almost be said to suds, and since I have a small mouth this means that I drooled a lot, much to J's alternate amusement and disgust. As I continued brushing I felt that it was a type of mint that I'd tasted before...from where, though?

It hit me this morning as I brushed again: Bengay. It's like brushing your teeth with a mild Bengay.

Guh-ROSS, Aquafresh...what were you thinking?! Unfortunately it's a full-sized tube of weirdly colored grossness, but I feel safe in saying that I will never buy it again (of course it was free in the first place so now I wonder...would I accept it for free again? I'd like to say "no" on principle, but I really really like free stuff so it's hard to figure out). I cannot fairly grade this toothpaste above an F.

morning

Morning is a stupid time of day. Don't try to tell me otherwise, for as surely as I'm sitting here I will sock you in the jaw if you contradict me. Morning...who came up with that idea, anyway? I know afternoon would not be nearly as fabulous without the cursed morning to give it perspective but there must be another way.

Morning in winter is even stupider. It's dark outside. The sun has risen and it's dark outside. The sky is grayish white, which in the morning is a hideous thing to behold. The sky is whitey-gray, the ground and trees and cars and playground are covered with snow. Everything I see is the same color. Even the bright, cheery kite that's been stuck in that tree over there for months is white. Stupid morning. Stupid snow. If it has to be morning there might as well be some sunshine.

One of the things I really despise about morning is that I'm awake during it. I'd much rather be sleeping. I would like to experience as little of morning as is humanly possible. But...my sleeping schedule is whacking out from too many weirdly houred Christmas parties, especially that game night with the cousins that got us home at 2:30 a.m.

Darn you, morning. Why can't you start in the afternoon?!

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Oh yes, I'm back by the way. The holiday craziness is over for another year and I'm finally able to sit grumpily at my computer and complain to the world about the petty things in life again. Like morning. Stupid...stupid...hate...morning....

Christmas was basically fabulous. It was all it was hyped up to be...tons of yummy, yummy food, wild family get togethers, even more playing with GooberBear and Munchkin than I had hoped and dreamed. It was a poor (financially speaking) Christmas for us so I wasn't expecting much in the way of presents, but Jeremy got me the perfect gifts (The Life of Our Lord...one of the few Dickens I'd yet to attain, It's a Wonderful Life, a tin with three Charlie Brown holiday soundtracks, and tons of candy). By joining his family I also became related to a wildly sweet and generous aunt and uncle who dumped gifts on us from the sky...fun gifts but also gifts we really needed, like clothes and money to buy groceries with.

It was one of those Christmases that leaves you humble in its wake, one that has you remembering how much God is taking care of you and how blessed you are to have great family and friends to share it with (it does nothing for your feelings about morning, however).

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I suppose if I had any kids at this point I'd be babbling about what they'd done or said or how they'd acted this Christmas, so in their place I'll let you in on what Mutton Chop, the hamster of joy and affection, has been up to.

Mutton Chop, in the second year of her life, has turned into destructo hamster. She had already destroyed one water bottle and we've fixed her wheel with extra bits of plastic and superglue (and most recently, duct tape), so it probably should not have surprised us that she gnawed three gigantic holes in her second water bottle this past week.

Oh Mutton Chop. You can't really be mad at her or teach her a lesson about this since she has a tiny, tiny brain. At least I think she has a brain. Anyway, J has declared that we shall not buy her any more water bottles (they are, after all, $5 a pop), so we've been trying to get her to drink out of a little dish. This has turned into a disgustingly wet, smelly affair because hamsters hate all things wet. Being a desert creature she instantly throws a tons of shavings in the water dish trying to dry it up...so I empty the dumb thing and put fresh water in constantly and I think after a few days I actually saw her drink out of it once. I let out a yelp of triumph and then realized she was drinking water with a turd floating in it. GROSS.